Self-Care Tips for Couples and Newlyweds
F*** this Pandemic.
So what can you and your significant other do before and after getting married? Proper self-care is crucially important to everyone right now and especially those engaged and newly married. The stresses caused by the pandemic may be straining on your relationship as well. If that is the case. know that you are not alone! Let’s try and work together on how we can better manage that. Here’s a short list of ideas to get you thinking.
Express gratitude. Everyone likes to hear they have been doing a good job even over things they do daily and you may be used to by now. Remember to take the extra few minutes to say thank you to your partner over the little things too. Likely, it will help them do the same back to you.
Get Outside. Seriously the lack of Vitamin D in my body has got me looking like a sheet of paper at this point. Vitamin D is an easy thing to get from being outside and also helps keep your immune system up. Being outside in nature may or may not be your go to but, see what comprises you can make to yourself to be around the earth and the fresh air. It can be a good way to self-reflect. You can go by yourself, with your partner, your friend, or even a furry friend!
Box Breathing. If you didn’t already know yes, breathing is a great tool to use. Generating specific breathing techniques, especially when anxiety is high, actually does physiological change your body and it ends up helping lower anxiety levels. There are several ways that we use breathing techniques but, one of my personal favorites is box breathing. It’s easiest to remember. You will breath in for 4 seconds, hold that breath for 4 seconds, let go of the breath for 4 seconds, and then repeat this 4 times. Repeat as often as needed but, it truly helps the chemicals and neural functions of your brain and body refocus to bring those anxieties down.
Let’s Talk. In this time where our schedules have changed make sure you and your partner are taking the time in each day to talk. Talk about your day, goals, the wedding, future “what ifs'' and so on. It can be easy to forget to do this when you have fallen into a normal schedule around each other. Just don’t forget they are there for you and try and be available to them.
Research Your Next Vacation. Ok, so let’s start daydreaming. What’s that dream vacation you have always wanted? Maybe it is even one your partner has already agreed that would also love to have happen? Where is it in the world? What time of year would you go? Would you visit family and friends? Visit a new place? Would you stay at a hotel or an Airbnb? What would you do while there? What foods would you try? Get into full planning mode! It’ll help lift your spirits and bring a new enthusiasm to a project for you and your partner.
Start a Project. Start or continue and old project with you and your partner. It doesn't have to be remodeling the guest bathroom but, think of something you both can work on. Maybe you want an organized album of photos of the two of you to look back on easily. Maybe you guys could work on painting a new piece for an empty wall together. Maybe it is something as small as fixing your calendars. Just try and think of something that brings the both of you together.
Skip the Romance Killer. Our devices often can be an easy romance killer. Remember that there will always be new information waiting for you on your device. So make time while around your partner or even for just yourself, to stay away from your device. Your partner will appreciate the time you spend away from your device as well so you both can be closer together. If the break is just for yourself, your brain and eyes will also appreciate the time away from the screen.
Pampering. Either you or your partner could spend the extra money or just the extra time at home to pamper your physical bodies. Spend a little more on manicures, haircuts, or even a massage. Covid-19 may have closed some storefronts or restricted some of these normal pampering tasks but, don’t be discouraged! Make it a reason for you or your partner to try something new at home together. The intimacy you spend together trying to figure it out will well be worth it.
Eat with Color on Your Plate. Now, yes there are a thousand ways to diet. I am not here to tell you how to lose weight and slim up because you’re already perfect :) Adding color to your plate just means focusing on bringing more fruits into your meals. Many fruits are a great natural source of nutrients for our bodies and often taste pretty dang good. So don't just think about your greens. Add those other colors too like reds, yellow, oranges, blues, and even purples and pinks!
Hit the Hay. Believe it or not, getting enough sleep actually plays a huge role in your daily physical and mental health. Make sure you understand how many hours on average you are supposed to be getting based on your age. Our bodies do a whole lot while we sleep so cutting our hours short or not getting enough deep sleep or REM sleep is not helpful. When you feel sick, sleep is always suggested to help. This is because more hormones are released while asleep to repair our bodies to fight inflammation, infection, and trauma. Our stress levels, or cortisol hormone levels, also decreased. When we don’t get enough sleep we could experience things like worsening symptoms of depression, higher blood pressure, worsening migraines, and our metabolism going out of whack. So go get that sleep!
Write it Out. If you like writing this is perfect for you. If you are like me and have dyslexia, don’t stress cause we know what we are talking about even if it doesn't make sense reading through a second time. The point is simply to help you self-reflect. That doesn’t have to be a self-reflection on your entire life and could really mean going over an encounter you had today that you wanted to dive into further and process. You could either do this solo or with your partner to document your love story together.
Date Night Check. Let’s make sure your date nights aren’t dwindling even with the pandemic. Make sure you schedule in you and your partner's calendar time together. This could be doing take-out from your favorite restaurant. This could be watching that new Netflix show together without skipping episodes because one of you just can’t wait that long. This could be cleaning the house together while blasting your favorite genre of music. This could be making a giant pillow fort and a Disney night. Whatever your date night is, as long as it is with your partner and you're both smiling or laughing by the end of it, you have done great!
Go Solo. Even if you really want to spend every single waking moment with your partner, it is important to also take time to yourself. One of the biggest advice pieces longtime married couples have for those engaged and newlyweds is to make sure both people have “their own thing.” This could be as simple as keeping up your personal hobbies that you had before you met your partner or were engaged. Think to yourself. Are you still doing it? Do you wish you could be doing it more often? What makes you happy when your partner can’t be around you? Providing space for both people is important to keep everyone sane and still individualized. As you and your partner are considered a couple there are still realistically things that you may like to do that your partner doesn’t like to do. Don’t let that stop you from doing it! Embrace what makes you happy and take time by yourself! It overall will make the moments together with your partner more intimate.
